Let me start by saying this: you are not defined by society’s expectations, the “shoulds” that pile up from others, or even your own self-criticism. You are defined by something far deeper and truer—your core self. I’ve had my fair share of internal battles, and what I’ve learned is this: your core is always there, quietly waiting for you to listen.
But let’s be real, right? Living authentically isn’t easy. We’re constantly bombarded by noise—social media, expectations from family, or the image of success the world tells us we should aspire to. I get it. I’ve been there. We all have.
What Does It Mean to Live Authentically?
To live authentically means showing up as you. It’s peeling away all the layers that others might have placed on you and rediscovering the person you’ve always been. It’s that simple, yet it’s one of the hardest things to do. For a long time, I thought being authentic meant doing everything perfectly and meeting every expectation. I thought if I just did what was expected, then I would be enough.
But what I’ve come to realize is that authenticity has nothing to do with perfection. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s accepting the imperfect, the messy, and the real. It’s being okay with who you are, right now, flaws and all.
How Do You Quiet the Noise?
So, how do you quiet the noise of everyone else’s expectations? First, you have to recognize that noise for what it is—external voices that don’t align with your truth. For me, it started with acknowledging when I was listening to those external pressures, whether it was the voice that told me I should be a certain type of person or the belief that I wasn’t doing enough in my business. Once I saw those voices for what they were, I could begin to let them go.
A few ways I’ve found helpful to quiet the noise:
- Tune into your own voice: This might sound simple, but it’s incredibly powerful. Spend time in silence. Meditate. Reflect. Listen to that small, steady voice inside that knows what you truly want and who you really are.
- Let go of the “shoulds”: How many times have you thought, I should be doing this, I should look like that, or I should have it all figured out by now? Let those go. They aren’t serving you. Instead, focus on what feels true to you in this moment.
- Be present with yourself: This one’s tough but so worth it. When you feel overwhelmed by external pressures, take a moment to be still. Ground yourself in the present and reconnect with your core. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You just have to be you.
Why Is It So Hard to Live Authentically?
If you’re wondering why it’s so hard to live authentically, believe me, I get it. It can feel like swimming upstream, especially when everyone else seems to be living according to the world’s idea of success. But here’s the thing—authenticity isn’t about pleasing everyone else. It’s about pleasing you. And the reason it’s hard is because being true to yourself sometimes means going against the grain, saying “no” when everyone else says “yes,” and walking your own path.
For me, this became crystal clear after a deeply personal loss. During that time, I learned to strip away the external noise. I had no energy for the “shoulds” of the world. I had to rely on my core self, that inner voice that told me exactly what I needed in each moment. And from that place, I made decisions that felt right, without apology.
How to Be Fully Authentic
To live fully and authentically, start by embracing the fact that you are enough as you are. You don’t need to earn anyone’s approval or prove your worth. Authenticity is about showing up every day as the truest version of yourself, no matter what others think.
Some practical tips that have helped me:
- Trust your instincts: Your gut feelings are there for a reason. Trust them. They’re often your core self guiding you in the right direction.
- Take small steps: You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Start small. Maybe it’s saying “no” to something that doesn’t align with your values or speaking up when you’d usually stay silent.
- Surround yourself with support: It’s easier to live authentically when you’re surrounded by people who encourage and accept you for who you are. Find your tribe.
How Do I Know if I’m Authentic?
If you’re wondering how you’ll know when you’re living authentically, it’s simple—you’ll feel it. Living authentically feels freeing. There’s a lightness to it, a sense of alignment that comes when your actions match your core values. You won’t feel like you’re putting on a mask or playing a role. You’ll just feel you.
I know that this journey can be a challenge, but it’s one worth taking. Living from your core, rather than from the expectations of others, is a gift. It’s a way to truly improve your now. And honestly, there’s nothing more fulfilling than that.