We all wear masks. Not the physical kind, but the metaphorical ones—the personas we adopt to fit in, to please others, or to hide parts of ourselves we fear won’t be accepted. These masks serve a purpose; they protect us, help us navigate tricky situations, and make life feel a little safer. But after a while, they become heavy. And worse, they distance us from who we really are.
I want to talk about what happens when we live from our core self, rather than behind a mask. Because in my experience, when we drop the mask and show up authentically, everything changes. You connect with people on a deeper level, you experience more joy, and life just feels lighter. But how do you make that shift? Let’s dive into it.
What’s the Difference Between the Core Self and the Mask?
Your core self is the real you—the part of you that exists beneath the layers of expectations, fears, and societal conditioning. It’s the you that shows up when you’re alone or when you’re with people who truly know and love you. It’s the you that doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone.
The mask, on the other hand, is the persona you wear to fit in. It’s the version of yourself that you present to the world when you feel the need to meet certain expectations or protect yourself from judgment. The mask often reflects who you think you should be, rather than who you actually are.
I’ve worn plenty of masks in my life, especially in professional settings. For years, I thought I had to appear a certain way to be taken seriously in business, so I adopted a version of myself that wasn’t entirely real. But the more I leaned into my core self, the more I realized that authenticity was my greatest asset. I didn’t need the mask—my true self was enough.
Why Do We Wear Masks?
Wearing masks is a survival tactic, plain and simple. It’s something we’ve learned to do over time to navigate social situations, avoid rejection, and protect ourselves from criticism. But the problem is that masks can become a barrier between us and real connection. They can make us feel disconnected from others—and from ourselves.
The masks we wear are often shaped by external pressures. Maybe it’s the pressure to appear successful, to be the perfect parent, or to live up to societal standards of beauty. Whatever the case, the mask is there to help us feel safe in a world that constantly tells us we’re not enough as we are.
How Do You Drop the Mask and Live Authentically?
If you’re feeling ready to let go of the mask and start living from your core self, here are some steps that have helped me make that shift:
- Acknowledge the Masks You Wear
The first step is to become aware of when and where you’re wearing a mask. For me, it was often in business settings where I felt like I needed to appear “professional” in a way that didn’t feel true to who I was. Maybe for you, it’s around certain people in your life or in specific situations where you feel judged. Start by identifying those moments. - Ask Yourself Why You’re Wearing the Mask
Once you recognize when you’re wearing a mask, ask yourself why. What are you afraid of? What’s driving the need to hide or alter parts of yourself? Often, it’s fear of rejection or criticism. By understanding the underlying fears, you can start to work through them. - Show Up Vulnerably
This is the hard part, but it’s also the most freeing. To drop the mask, you have to show up vulnerably. That means being willing to be seen as you are, flaws and all. For me, this looked like letting go of the need to be “perfect” in my work and instead focusing on being real with my clients and collaborators. It wasn’t always easy, but the connections I made were so much deeper and more meaningful. - Practice in Safe Spaces
If the idea of dropping the mask feels overwhelming, start by practicing in safe spaces. Surround yourself with people who accept and love you as you are. These are the people with whom you can practice showing up as your core self. As you get more comfortable in these settings, it becomes easier to expand that authenticity into other areas of your life.
Why It’s Hard to Drop the Mask
I’m not going to sugarcoat it—dropping the mask is hard. It requires you to be vulnerable and face the possibility of rejection. And sometimes, it means letting go of relationships or situations that no longer serve you. I’ve had to make some tough decisions in order to live more authentically, but every time I let go of the mask, I gained more than I lost.
The hardest part for me was the fear of judgment. I worried that if I showed my true self, people would think less of me. But what I’ve learned is that the right people—those who truly matter—will accept you as you are. And those who don’t? They were never really aligned with your core self anyway.
How to Tell if Someone Else is Wearing a Mask
Now, let’s flip the script for a moment. What about recognizing when someone else is wearing a mask? It can be tough, but there are usually signs. People who wear masks often avoid vulnerability—they steer clear of deep conversations, deflect attention from themselves, or seem overly concerned with how they’re perceived.
If you sense that someone is wearing a mask, approach them with compassion. We all wear masks at times, and it’s often a defense mechanism. By creating a safe, non-judgmental space for them, you can encourage others to drop their masks and show up more authentically too.
The Power of Living from Your Core Self
Living from your core self is one of the most empowering choices you can make. When you drop the mask, you stop trying to fit into other people’s expectations, and you start living in alignment with who you really are. For me, this has been the key to building deeper relationships, experiencing more joy, and creating a business that reflects my true values.
The more you live from your core, the more you’ll find that life opens up in ways you never expected. You’ll attract people who appreciate the real you, and you’ll experience a sense of freedom that comes from no longer pretending to be someone you’re not.
How to Stay Authentic in Every Area of Life
Living authentically is a daily practice. It’s something you have to choose, over and over again, especially when it feels easier to put the mask back on. Here are a few ways I stay authentic in every area of my life:
- Check in with yourself regularly: I make it a point to regularly check in with myself and ask, “Am I living in alignment with my core values? Am I showing up as my true self?” These questions help me stay grounded and authentic.
- Surround yourself with supportive people: It’s much easier to live authentically when you’re surrounded by people who encourage and support you. I’ve cultivated a community of friends, family, and colleagues who appreciate me for who I am, not who they want me to be.
- Give yourself grace: You won’t get it right all the time, and that’s okay. There are days when I still find myself slipping into old patterns, putting on a mask to protect myself. When that happens, I try to be gentle with myself, recognizing that authenticity is a journey, not a destination.
In Conclusion: The Real You is Enough
At the end of the day, living authentically is about embracing the fact that the real you is enough. You don’t need to wear a mask to be loved, accepted, or successful. You just need to show up as you are—because that’s where your true power lies.
The world doesn’t need more perfect people. It needs more real ones. And when you live from your core self, not only do you find more peace and joy, but you also give others permission to do the same. So, take off the mask. Show up fully. And let the world see the real, wonderful you.